Things I have realised recently:
- I am
potentially, possiblyactually quite defective. It wasn’t until I took some advice I’d been given and decided to type up a brief summary of my most relevant/ disastrous health hiccups for paramedics/ doctors (on account of the fact that I am inevitably going to encounter one or both of these parties soon, in a state where I am barely conscious/ alive, and therefore in no fit to even begin trying to explain) that I realised it probably isn’t normal to struggle to condense the points you’ve been told are “highly important to mention…” Onto an A4 page (font size 11, no spacing between lines). I forgot to mention some of the stuff I “cannot afford to miss out” so now my left-handed scrawl is squished in all around the nicely typed lines and I can’t even stand the thought of looking at the abomination this piece of paper has become.
- When I run out of ideas for a blog post but don’t want to break my streak of posting every day, I decide that a bullet pointed list will do.
- I am actually quite awful at blog posts. (Have you seen. The junk. I write? Why do you read it?! I mean, thank you so much… But why?? It baffles me. You’re awesome).
- In going to see next door’s golden cocker spaniel puppy every day for the first few weeks they had him, I seem to have let him get far too attached. This now means that whenever I show up on their doorstep, he pees himself with excitement, usually while he is jumping up at my leg to get me to cuddle him (I’m told he only gets excited enough to pee in my presence… Great). It also means that I get a lot of puppy pee on my shoes. But I am willing to overlook this because damn he’s cute (and a thing gets so excited at the sight of my face that it pees itself. I mean come on, that makes a person feel pretty special. Peed on, but privileged).
- I have accidentally become nocturnal. Again. After sleeping in until midday on the day after I started this post, I then stayed awake far too late, slept in until 1pm, and now I’m writing this at 1:30am while feeling a little like death. My body clock is no longer a clock. My sleeping pattern is no longer… A pattern. I’m never sure how I fix this, it just sort of works itself out somehow (maybe someone replaces the batteries in my body clock?)
- I literally forgot to do all the super important stuff I was meant to do on WEDNESDAY (I’m writing this part in the early hours of Sunday morning). Email one of my consultants… Arrange to see one of my other doctors… Chase up an appointment with another consultant… Call the cardiac MRI people and see if they’ve had any cancellations yet and if not steal their earliest appointment and continue to hope for a cancellation… Respond to my disability advisor at university about my entire future there… Go and have bloods taken like multiple doctors have asked me to have done… Y’know, stuff I didn’t want to think about so just forgot to do. Good one brain, good one.
- Somewhere inside of me there is still a normal 20 year old (this was an awesome discovery)
- Oh poop. I also forgot to mail the drawing I did DAYS AGO as an ALREADY LATE birthday present. And I have no idea where I left it. My memory is… Non-existent, lately.
- Humanity sucks. Four legged animals do not. I should just give up on the former and only confide in the latter.
- (Potentially ex-)future flatmate and my friends are awesome; I am an illogical emotional mess who majorly overreacted to a situation and is melting down for no reason (which actually probably isn’t an overreaction and has a justifiable reason given my past experiences that I can’t actually talk about, but that they all knew a bit about. They are still awesome and I’m so glad for all the good times we have shared, they’ve done nothing wrong).
- I am INCREDIBLY lucky in so, so many ways (was already aware of this, but it makes me so appreciative I mentioned it here).
- I cannot take my dog seriously while he still has nail varnish on his claw, and it amuses me so much I can’t bring myself to take it off (at least it is only one claw, and it’s a small blue blob).
- I already posted today (because I fell asleep before I could post this last night), so this is now redundant, but hey, you just read it anyway.
I’ve actually now planned a series of blog posts on the music that has helped me through my health hiccups/ life speed bumps (in general each band/ artist gets a post. Don’t worry, there’s only… Four? Or five. I just felt it would be a kind of fun thing to do. Story time, if you like). If you don’t want to read that junk, maybe don’t read for the next… I don’t even know (can I make five posts in one day? Is that a bit excessive?)