And If You Close Your Eyes

“If you need me just call me ok? You’ve got your buzzer. Ill be right here. I promise I won’t leave you. I will sit and talk to you if you’re having one of your dreams, I won’t leave you ok?” Awesome nurse says when she finds me at 1am too afraid to sleep. She says hopefully I will fall into a deep sleep, I say hopefully too deep to dream. The above was her response. 

She shows me pictures of her new puppy. She plugs my phone in right by me and hunts through my things for my headphones telling me to listen to music to try and help me sleep. I put in my headphones and Bastille floods my ears. Everything is ok. I calm. I ignore the fact that when I move my eyes there is a flash and a time lag before the image moves with them, that when things or people move they leave a ghost of an image smudged behind them briefly. I sleep.

A while later her voice pulls me out of a vivid nightmare and as promised she talks me down until I am calm, until the monsters of my past fade back to where they belong and all that remains is her saying my name.

“And if you close your eyes does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all?

And if you close your eyes does it almost fee like you’ve been here before?”  – Bastille, Pompeii


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